Monday, 19 December 2016

Valmont (1989)

Valmont: Do you think a man can change?
Merteuil: Yes, for the worse.

Valmont: Myslíte, že človek sa dokáže zmeniť?
Merteuil: Áno, k horšiemu.

Sunday, 4 December 2016

Fantastic beasts and where to find them / Fantastické zvery a ich výskyt (2016)

The new Harry Potter universe film is here! There's magic in USA! The magical world is getting bigger! The film is set in the charming 1920s! There are tons of magical beasts! We get some Grindelwald backstory! A so on, I'm out of breath now.
Nový potterovský film je tu! Aj v Amerike vedia čarovať! Čarodejný svet sa zväčšuje! Film zasadený do dvadsiatych rokov! Čarodejné tvory v každej scéne! Príbeh Grindelwalda! A tak ďalej, už mi došiel dych.

Sunday, 20 November 2016

Back to the future / Návrah do budúcnosti 1 and 2 (1985 and 1989)

Dr. Emmett Brown: Now, remember. According to my theory, you interfered with your parents' first meeting. If they don't meet, they won't fall in love, they won't get married and they won't have kids. That's why your older brother's disappearing from that photograph. Your sister will follow, and unless you repair the damage, you'll be next.

Doktor Emmet Brown: Ale pamätaj si. Podľa mojej teórie si zasiahol do prvého stretnutia tvojich rodičov. Ak sa nestretnú, nezaľúbia, nezoberú sa a nebudú mať deti. Preto zmizol tvoj starší brat z fotky. Na rade je tvoja sestra a pokiaľ to nenapravíš, zmizneš aj ty.

Sunday, 6 November 2016

Death becomes her/Smrť jej pristane (1992)

Ernest Menville: Where did you put my wife?
Nurse: She's dead, sir. They took her to the morgue.
Ernest Menville: The morgue? She'll be FURIOUS!

Ernest Menville: Kde ste dali moju ženu?
Sestra: Bola mŕtva, pane. Odniesli ju do márnice.
Ernest Menville: Do márnice? Tá bude zúriť!

Sunday, 23 October 2016

Brave (2012)


Princess Merida: There are those who say fate is something beyond our command. That destiny is not our own, but I know better. Our fate lives within us, you only have to be brave enough to see it.

Princezná Merida: Niektorí hovoria, že osud je niečo, čo nemôžeme zmeniť. Že nám nepatrí. Ale ja si to nemyslím. Náš osud je v nás a my iba musíme byť dosť odvážni, aby sme ho videli.

Sunday, 9 October 2016

Pride and prejudice (and no zombies) /Pýcha a predsudok (bez zombíkov) (2005)

Mr. Darcy: Do you talk, as a rule, while dancing?
Elizabeth Bennet: No... No, I prefer to be unsociable and taciturn... Makes it all so much more enjoyable, don't you think?

Mr. Darcy: Považujete za svoju povinnosť pri tanci rozprávať?
Elizabeth Bennet: Nie... nie, radšej som nespoločenská a mračím sa. Tak si to viac vychutnám.

Sunday, 25 September 2016

The secret life of pets/ Tajný život maznáčikov (2016)

Chloe the cat: Katie is a dog person, and dog persons do inexplicable things, like get dogs instead of cats. Look Max I'm your friend, OK, and as your friend I've got to be honest with you I don't care about you or your problems!

Mačka menom Chloe: Katie má rada psov a takí ľudia robia nevysvetliteľné veci ako napríklad, že si obstarajú psa namiesto mačky. Pozri Max, som tvoja kamarátka, a ako tvoja kamarátka k tebe musím byť úprimná. Ty a tvoje problémy ma nezaujímajú!

Sunday, 4 September 2016

Finding Dory/Hľadá sa Dory (2016)

Dory: I remember it like it was yesterday. Of course, I don't really remember yesterday all that well.

Dory: Pamätám si to akoby to bolo včera. Teda, včerajšok si vlastne veľmi nepamätám.

Sunday, 21 August 2016

The Legend of Tarzan/ Legenda o Tarzanovi (2016)

The concept of a big white man and his loyal black sidekick saving the country of Congo should be quite insulting but somehow it's just too stupid you can't get mad.

Koncept veľkého bieleho muža a jeho verného čierneho kamaráta ako zachraňujú Kongo by mal byť urážlivý, ale je to proste celé také hlúpe, že sa nemôžete hnevať.

Sunday, 7 August 2016

Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality (fanfiction) / Harry Potter a metódy racionality (od fanúšika)


Harry stepped back and shot the Slytherins his best lethal glare. "Now go away or I will just keep making your existence more and more surreal until you do." The expression of sheer bafflement on the Slytherin's face was a look of art. 

Harry urobil krok dozadu a zabodol do študentov Slizolínu smrtiaci pohľad. "A teraz choďte preč inak začnem robiť vaše životy viac a viac surealistické, kým ma neposlúchnete." Číry šok na slizolínskych tvárach bol pohľad, ktorý stál za to.

Sunday, 10 July 2016

Terry Pratchett: Jingo /Hrrr na ně!

'Why are our people going out there?' said Mr Boggis of the Thieves' Guild. 
'Because they are showing a brisk pioneering spirit and seeking wealth and... additional wealth in a new land,' said Lord Vetinari.
'What's in it for the Klatchians?' said Lord Downey.
'Oh, they've gone out there because they are a bunch of unprincipled opportunists always ready to grab something for nothing,' said Lord Vetinari.
'A masterly summation, if I may say so, my lord,' said Mr Burleigh, who felt he had some ground to make up. 

„A proč se tam vlastně naši lidé vydávají?“ zajímal se pan Tichokrad Bahno z Cechu zlodějů. 
„Protože oplývají nezdolným průkopnickým duchem a hledají v nové zemi bohatství a…. ještě nějaký ten majetek navíc.“ 
„A proč tam táhnou Klačané?“ 
„Hm, ti? Protože je to spolek bezpáteřních oportunistů, kteří vždycky koukají, jak by k něčemu přišli zadarmo,“ odpověděl lord Vetinari. 
„To bylo mistrovské vyjádření, když dovolíte, vaše lordstvo,“ ozval se pan Kruppkoff, který cítil, že se ocitá na poněkud pevnější půdě. 

Sunday, 26 June 2016

Oliver the musical (1968)


Dodger: Consider yourself... at home                      Cíť sa tu ako doma
Consider yourself... one of the family                      Ako člen našej rodiny
We've taken to you... so strong                                 Hneď si nám padol do oka
It's clear... we're... going to get along!                      Spolu nám bude dobre
Consider yourself... well in                                      Cíť sa tu s nami pohodlne
Consider yourself... part of the furniture                  Ako odveká súčasť rodiny
There isn't a lot... to spare                                         Nemáme toho veľa
Who cares? What... ever we've got we share!...       Nevadí... Podelíme sa!
Consider yourself... our mate                                   Cíť sa ako nás kamoš
We don't want to have... no fuss                               O starosti nestojíme
For after some consideration we can state...            Jednoducho povedané:
Consider yourself - one of us!                                  Cíť sa ako jeden z nás!

Sunday, 12 June 2016

Men at arms/Muži ve zbrani (1993)


This is Ankh-Morpork, Citie of One Thousand Surprises (according to the Guild of Merchants' guidebook). What more need be said? A sprawling place, home to a million people, greatest of cities on the Discworld, located on either side of the river Ankh, a waterway so muddy that it looks as if it is flowing upside down.
And visitors say: how does such a big city exist? What keeps it going? Since it's got a river you can chew, where does the drinking water come from? What is, in fact, the basis of its civic economy? How come it, against all probability, works?
Actually, visitors don't often say this. They usually say things like 'Which way to the, you know, the... er... you know, the young ladies, right?'
But if they started thinking with their brains for a little while, that's what they'd be thinking.

Toto je Ankh-Morpork, město tisíce překvapení (jak se praví v Průvodci městem Cechu obchodníků). Je třeba říkat ještě něco víc? Obrovské místo, domov skoro milionu lidí, největší z měst Zeměplochy, rozkládající se po obou stranách řeky Ankh, vodní cesty tak blátivé, že vypadá, jako by tekla dnem vzhůru. 
A návštěvníci říkají: Jak vůbec to velké město existuje? Co ho udržuje v chodu? Když má řeku, která se dá žvýkat, kde vlastně bere pitnou vodu? V čem leží základ jeho městské sociální politiky? Jak to, že proti všem zákonům pravděpodobnosti funguje? 
Návštěvníci to ale zase tak často neříkali. Obvykle říkali takové ty věci jako: Kudy bych se dostal, no víte, k… do… no tam… k těm mladým dámám, víte, co myslím? 
Ale kdyby v těch okamžicích alespoň chvíli mysleli mozkem, muselo by je něco takového napadnout. 

Sunday, 29 May 2016

Daniel A. Bergstein reads Twilight/ Daniel A. Bergstein číta Súmrak

Once upon a time there was a book, horrible book with boring characters and nonexistent plot, a book that ruined one supernatural classic forever and generated bazillions or fans who divided themselves into two teams according to the love triangle the book presented and they fought each other mercilessly on the internet. And then there were three more books and five films and the hype seemed never ending.
And then came a guy, who found a way to survive this. Dan A. Bergstein started to read Twilight and he made it a ball.  

Kde bolo tam bolo, vznikla jedna kniha, hrozná kniha, s nudnými postavami a neexistujúcou zápletkou, kniha ktorá navždy pošpinila pamiatku jednej nadprirodzenej klasiky a stvorila milióny fanúšikov, ktorí sa delili do dvoch skupín, podľa milostného trojuholníka, ktorý kniha prezentovala a tí spolu bojovali na internete bez štipky zľutovania. A potom vyšli ešte ďalšie tri knihy a päť filmov a ošiaľ nemal konca kraja. 
A potom prišiel chlapík, ktorý prišiel na to ako toto celé prežiť. Dan A. Bergstein začal čítať Súmrak a bola to sranda.

Sunday, 15 May 2016

Ruby & Quentin/Shut up!/ Drž hubu (2003)

Quentin: Hi. I'm Quentin from Montargis.
Ruby: Why not tell him who I am too?
Quentin: Oh sorry. He's Ruby from Puteaux.

Quentin: Ahoj. Ja som Quentin z Montargis.
Ruby: Skvelé. Ešte mu povedz kto som ja.
Quentin: Ou, prepáč. Toto je Ruby z Puteaux.

Sunday, 1 May 2016

En man som heter Ove/Muž menom Ove (2015)

“Now you listen to me," says Ove calmly while he carefully closes the door. "You've given birth to two children and quite soon will be squeezing out a third. You've come here from a land far away and most likely you fled war and persecution and all sorts of other nonsense. You've learned a new language and got yourself an education and you're holding together a family of obvious incompetents. And I'll be damned if I've seen you afraid of a single bloody thing in this world before now....I'm not asking for brain surgery. I'm asking you to drive a car..." And then Ove utters seven words, which Parvaneh will always remember as the loveliest compliment he'll ever give her. "Because you are not a complete twit.” 

"Tak teraz ma počúvaj," povedal Ove ticho, keď opatrne zavrel dvere. "Porodila si dve deti a onedlho vytlačíš aj tretie. Prišla si sem zďaleka a pravdepodobne si unikla prenasledovaniu a iným šialenstvám. Naučila si sa nový jazyk a zaobstarala si si vzdelanie a držíš pohromade rodinu evidentných diletantov. A ešte som ťa nevidel sa doteraz ničoho kurva báť... Nežiadam od teba operáciu mozgu. Chcem, aby si šoférovala auto... " A potom Ove vysloví tých päť slov, ktoré si Parvaneh bude do smrti pamätať ako ten najkrajší kompliment, aký jej kedy Ove zložil. "Pretože nie si úplný debil."

Sunday, 17 April 2016

Amelie/ Amélia z Montmartru (2001)

Narrator: Nino is late. Amelie can only see two explanations. 1 - he didn't get the photo. 2 - before he could assemble it, a gang of bank robbers took him hostage. The cops gave chase. They got away... but he caused a crash. When he came to, he'd lost his memory. An ex-con picked him up, mistook him for a fugitive, and shipped him to Istanbul. There he met some Afghan raiders who too him to steal some Russian warheads. But their truck hit a mine in Tajikistan. He survived, took to the hills, and became a Mujaheddin. Amelie refuses to get upset for a guy who'll eat borscht all his life in a hat like a tea cozy.

Rozprávač: Nino mešká. Améliu napadajú iba dve vysvetlenia. Po prvé: nedostal fotku. Po druhé: predtým ako ju poskladal, ho uniesol gang lupičov. Nasledovala naháňačka s políciou. Ušli, ale mali haváriu a Nino stratil pamäť. Stretol bývalého trestanca, ten si ho pomýlil s utečencom a odviezol ho do Istanbulu. Tam stretol Afgánskych útočníkov, ktorý ho zapojili do kradnutia jadrových hlavíc. Ich nákladiak mal nehodu v Tadžikistane. Nino ušiel do hôr a stal sa partizánom. Amélia sa odmieta trápiť pre chlapa, ktorý bude do konca života jesť len boršč a ktorého klobúk pripomína prikrývku na čajník.

Sunday, 3 April 2016

Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog (2008)


"Theee Freeze Ray needs work. I also need to be a little bit more careful about what I say on this blog. Apparently, the LAPD and Captain Hammer are among our viewers. They were waiting for me at the Mayor's dedication to the Superhero Memorial Bridge, the Freeze Ray takes a few seconds to warm up, and I wasn't... Captain Hammer threw a car at my head."

"Mrazomet ešte potrebuje vychytať zopár múch. Okrem toho musím byť opatrnejší čo sa týka vecí, čo hovorím na svojom videoblogu. Polícia a Kapitán Hammer očivodne patria medzi mojich divákov. Čakali na mňa, keď starosta krstil nový Most Superhrdinov a mrazomet potrebuje pár minút, kým sa zahreje a ja som nebol.... Kapitán Hammer mi hodil na hlavu auto."

Sunday, 20 March 2016

I Origins (2004)

The film about the ultimate fight between science and religion?
Does it sound good?
Yes.
Is it any good?

Film o veľkom boji medzi vedou a náboženstvom?
Znie to dobre?
Tak určite.
Je to dobré?

Sunday, 6 March 2016

Firefly (2002/3 and 2005)

Wash: Sweetie, we're crooks. If everything were right, we'd be in jail.

Wash: Sme darebáci, zlato. Ak by všetko správne fungovalo, sedeli by sme v base.

Zoë: Now we have a boatful of citizens right on top of our... stolen cargo. That's a fun mix.
Mal: Ain't no way in the verse they could find that compartment, even [stops talking as a passenger walks past] Even if they were lookin' for it.
Zoë: Why not?
Mal: 'Cause... ?
Zoë: Oh yeah, this is gonna go great.
Mal: If anyone gets nosy, just, you know... shoot 'em.
Zoë: Shoot 'em?
Mal: Politely.

Zoe: Takže teraz máme loď plnú pasažierov a ukradnutý náklad. To je zábavná kombinácia.
Mal: Ale ten by nenašli... [stíchne, keď okolo prejde pasažier]... ani keby sa naň pozerali.
Zoe: Prečo?
Mal: Lebo...?!
Zoe: Toto bude ešte zábava.
Mal: Ak by bol niekto príliš zvedavý, no, tak ho proste zastreľ, dobre?
Zoe: Zastreľ?
Mal: Ale slušne.

Sunday, 21 February 2016

Her er Harold /Harold (2014)

"I am very sorry for the trash... I can't read it. I'm dyslectic, dear Sjöberg."
"I'm no dear to you."
"You're a lame kidnapper. End this now and you'll get a small fine."
"I have chronic stomachache because of you. Heart problems and insomnia. You dishonored everything I worked for. My furniture is worthless because of you and you ruined me completely. Don't talk to me about fines!"
"Well... hmmm.... you're a furniture maker then."

"Velmi se omlouvám za harampádí… Nemůžu to číst. Mám dyslexii, můj drahý Sjöbergu." 
"Pro tebe nejsem žádný drahý."
"Jsi docela k ničemu únosce. Skonči to teď, a bude tě to stát jen malou pokutu."
"Kvůli tobě mě bolí břicho. Mám arytmii. Špatně spím. Zneuctil jsi všechno, co jsem vybudoval, o čem jsem snil, udělal jsi ze mě nulu, můj nábytek je kvůli tobě bezcenný, a mě jsi taky naprosto zničil. Tak mi tady nemluv o pokutách!"
"Páni... Hm. Takže ty jsi tedy výrobce nábytku."

Sunday, 7 February 2016

Kis Kisko Pyaar Karu/ Whom Should I Love/ Koho mám milovať (2015)


Everybody has holiday once in a while. Even logic. Do you know where does logic NOT go for holiday? India.

Každý má z času na čas dovolenku. Aj logika. A viete kam logika určite na dovolenku nechodí? Do Indie.

Sunday, 24 January 2016

A pidgeon sat on a branch reflecting on existence/Holub sedel na konari a rozmýšľal nad životom (2014)

- What are you doing for us?
- Reading a poem.
- A poem? Okay. And who taught you that?
- I did myself.
- You learned the poem yourself? That was very good of you. What's the poem about?
- A bird.
- It's about a bird? What kind of bird?
- A pigeon.
- About a pigeon! And what did the pigeon do?
- It sat on a branch.
- It sat on a branch? What did it do on the branch?
- It rested and reflected.
- It rested and reflected? What did the pigeon reflect on?

- A čo nám predvedieš ty?
- Prečítam báseň.
- Báseň? Okej. Kto ťa ju naučil?
- Ja sama.
- Naučila si sa báseň sama? To je skvelé. O čom je tá báseň?
- O vtákovi.
- Je o vtákovi? O akom vtákovi?
- Holubovi.
- O holubovi! A čo spravil holub?
- Sedel na konári.
- Sedel na konári? A čo tam robil?
- Odpočíval a rozmýšľal.
- Odpočíval a rozmýšľal? A o čom ten holub rozmýšľal?

Sunday, 10 January 2016

The Curse of the Jade Scorpion/Prekliatie žltozeleného škorpióna (2001)

Al: So did you tell her who's boss?
C.W.: Is she kidding, talking to me like that? It's 'cause she thinks she's smarter... you know, 'cause she graduated from Vassar and I went to driving school.

Al: Tak čo, povedal si jej, kto je tu šéf?
C. W.: Robí si srandu, keď sa so mnou tak rozpráva? Ona si myslí aká je len múdra...lebo študovala na univerzite Vassar a ja mam tak akurát vodičský kurz.